I Will Always Love You
by LoneReader3173
Summary: Naruto has kept his new roommate secret from his friends for the past five months. Is he trying to protect someone, or is there something much more sinister behind his reasoning? Sometimes things don't turn out the way you expect. Sometimes they're much, much worse. NaruSasu.
1. Conflicting Emotions

The April rain pounded against the glass in a rhythmic torrent. A sweet beckoning serenade that had captured the rapt attention of the blond boy watching its display through the dingy library widow.

"Naruto?" His friends voice calling his name brought him out of his wandering thoughts. He had been so tired that he'd barley paid attention to anything his friends were saying all day.

"Huh?" He asked, looking around the table at the people who where all staring at him with questioning expressions. It hand been Shikamaru that had spoken, he thought. The boy say across from him, chin resting on the back of his had as he leaned his on the table. He was staring at Naruto with an unusual amount of intensity, and he could almost see the cogs working in the boy brain, trying to piece together Naruto's behavior.

Naruto, Shikamaru, Sakura, Kiba, and Gaara, had formed a study group a few months prior to make it through their upcoming test in Kakashi's class. Their first year of college had been a lot harder than Naruto had expected, and it had taken its toll on a lot of things in Naruto's life.

"I said, the library is closed for the weekend, and we are weighing options of another place to study. Can we throw your name in for consideration? Would Iruka mind having us?"

Naruto blinked, confused at the question, "Iruka?"

Sakura rolled her eyes at his absentmindedness, "Your guardian, or father figure, or whatever you call him? The man who owns the house you live in? What is with you today? It's not like you to be so distracted."

Naruto shook his, "Sorry, I meant why are you asking if Iruka would mind... I don't live with him anymore..."

"What?!" Kiba shouted. A number of people around the library glared at him in irritation for interrupting their concentration. Kiba winced at his own forgetfulness of their present location and his next words were more of a hiss, "when did that happen?"

"About then end of summer. Five months ago." Gaara, who had yet to look up from his book to engage in the current discussion, answered the question for him. The rest of group all stared at him.

"Has it been that long? And really none of you know that?" He was slightly hurt at the realization of how absent they were from his personal life. He knew he had told them, had even asked for help moving, which only Gaara had assisted in. But then again, this was another part of growing up, he supposed. People went their own separate ways as they came into their own and built their own little worlds.

"Um... so... where are you living then? Roommate?" Sakura asked tentatively. A faint, guilty blush crossed her cheeks. Naruto briefly wondered if Sakura had been feeling the strain of separation as much as he was. She certainly didn't need a study group to pass this test, and there was no other reason for her to be here other than the companionship it offered.

"Yeah. Middle of town." He said, somewhat shortly. "And to answer your other question, it's probably fine to meet at me place, but I should run it by my roommate first. I doubt he will care but would appreciate the heads up."

The last part was said more to himself than tothe group. Gaara, however, responded with a snort. "Nah, I bet he'll care," he chuckled to himself.

Naruto glared at him and was about to retort, but Kiba interrupted, "Who is your roommate then?"

Naruto blushed, now this part he was aware he hadn't told them, in fact, he'd avoided it as much as possible. "Um... it's Sasuke." He answered, avoiding eye contact with any of them. Gaara had put his book down to watch the spectacle unfolding before him, grinning.

The rest of his friends stared at him dumbfounded. Kiba has opened his mouth, but before he could shout again, Shikamaru elbowed him in the ribs. "Sasuke? Uchiha, Sasuke? Who went to high school with us until he decided he was better than everyone else, broke Sakura's heart when we were fourteen and left? That Sasuke?!" He said in a lower but still incredulous tone, massaging his ribs where Shikamaru jabbed him.

"Yes." Naruto replied simply. He was no longer looking at them, but was rummaging around in his back pack for his phone, before remembering that it was in his pocket. Naruto cared very little what his male friends thought of his living situation, but he was nervous to meet Sakura's gaze. Pulling out his phone, he found he had a missed message from Sasuke already. Food, was all it said. It had been received over an hour ago. Naruto replied, asking both about what kind of food he was wanting, and about the study group. "I don't care." Was Sasuke's immediate and only response to both questions. Typical.

"He says he doesn't care about the study group meeting at our place." He informed them, finally looking up. Gaara chuckled again and Naruto ignored him. Naruto met Sakuras gaze. She was leaning forward on the table they were sitting around. One arm was folded while the other sat vertically supporting her pretty head as her chin rested on the back of her hand. Her gaze was inquisitive, but there was a slight smile playing at the corners of her mouth. That smile made him nervous, as did the glint in her emerald green eyes.

"That guy was an asshole." Kiba stated bluntly.

"Still is." Gaara muttered, having returned to his book.

"You stayed in touch with him?" Kiba expression was one of bewilderment still.

"Obviously." It was the first thing Shikamaru had said anything for awhile, and Naruto turned his head to face him. Shikamaru was leaning back in his chair, fingers laced behind his head in a casual, lazy manner. He was looking at Naruto but his face was expressionless.

"He was my best friend, of course I stayed in touch with him." Naruto was answering Kiba but his gaze didn't leave Shikamaru, trying to read his face without success. Naruto sighed, he was tired, and had known that the announcement of having Sasuke Uchiha as roommate would not go over well. And if he was honest with himself, he was a little disappointed and hurt that it had taken so long to come out. He had meant kept it a secret, it probably should still be one, but it shouldn't have been this easy. Five months since they'd lived together... three years since they'd become friends again. So much had happened over those years that his friends knew nothing about...may never know anything about. He knew so much about his friends and their lives, did no one except Gaara ever wonder about his?

"Look, regardless of my roommate, my place is open." He began packing his books and paper into his backpack. Sakura looked concerned, and he felt a pang of guilt.

He should have told her. She had loved Sasuke so much, even after he had disappeared. But then again she had never bothered to ask about him or tried to get in touch with him, and hadn't taken an interest in Naruto's life much lately either.

Full of mixed emotions turned to his group, "I gotta go. Let me know what you decide about next meeting." They all muttered some form of farewell, as he slung his backpack over one shoulder. He gave them a half hearted smile, and a thumbs up as a show of good faith, before turning and exiting the library.

The air outside had a bitter cold edge to it and he pulled his coat closer. Naruto's head was a mix of thoughts as he got into his beat up, old pick up and drove home. It was a thirty minute drive from campus to home. He and Sasuke had found a place in the middle of the city, between both of their schools, but it meant that they both drive further than most other students to and from school. He was so distracted that he nearly forgot to stop for food.

When he finally arrived home he found Sasuke asleep in the recliner. The sun was nearing the horizon and a warm glow filled the living room. The tv was on low, playing the evening news. The remote resting on Sasuke's right thigh.

Naruto went into the kitchen to put the food in the fridge. It was nearly empty as neither of them had gone shopping for several days. Sasuke must have been hungry to have been messaging him. He didn't like to text. But if Sasuke was finally asleep, then Naruto wasn't going to wake him. He returned to the living room. The sun had finished setting and the only light now came from the tv. He went to the blinds and closed them before walking over to his roommate. The light from the tv flickered across Sasuke's tired face, and worry filled Naruto's chest. The chair Sasuke was in was fully reclined. His bandaged left arm and leg were propped up on pillows. Naruto wondered if Sasuke had finally taken a pain killer in order to sleep, or if he had simply run out energy.

He checked the bandages as best he could with out touching the sleeping boy. No blood, that was good. Naruto grabbed one of the blankets from the back of the couch and carefully covered Sasuke with it, before grabbing another one and curling up on the couch to finish watching the news. It was still only 7:00, but he felt as tired as Sasuke looked. Neither of them had slept since coming home from the hospital the previous day.

He watched the news anchors prattle on about some new anti government movement, and the cult that had risen up to protest recent laws, before he felt his phone go off. It was a text from Shikamaru. "You seem distracted, so I'm sure you forgot that the weekend starts tomorrow and that we were planning to meet every day as our test is in 4 days. Your place tomorrow, 8 am?"

Naruto wondered why, like Sakura, Shikamaru even bothered to study. He was the smartest person that Naruto had ever met and easily the top of their class. He was smarter even than Sasuke and Sakura put together. Nevertheless, Naruto responded and gave Shikamaru his address. It was only five minutes before he too was sound asleep.

Naruto was awakened in the morning by a loud thunk that made him sit up right in panic. Looking around he found the source to the sound to be coming from Sasuke releasing the lever on the recliner to put the foot rest down. He kicked it with his right foot to finish closing it, muttering an apology for waking him. He got awkwardly to his feet and limped towards the bathroom.

Naruto sighed and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, checking the time on his phone before looking around the room. His group would be there in an hour and the place looked like it was hit by a hurricane. Take out containers littered the coffee table, Old bandages, and medical supplies were scattered on the floor, the coffee table was upside down, there was a smell he couldn't identify (though he briefly wondered if was coming from himself) and the garbage was over flowing. Naruto knew the kitchen was just as bad. He went to the pantry and grabbed a large garbage bag to begin the arduous cleaning process. As he was was finishing the living room, Sasuke emerged from his bedroom.

He was dressed in black sweatpants, a white long sleeved-shirt, grey beanie, and white sneakers. "Where are you going? We should to change those bandages." Naruto said softly without looking at him. Where were all the remote controls? They should have five but he could only find the one Sasuke had been using the night before.

Sasuke nodded, moving slowly over to the hall closet to grab his black jacket. "I'm going to go for a walk and take a shower first." He stated, yawning. "I'll be back in an hour. Why are you cleaning?" He asked tilting his head to the side and looking at Naruto quizzically.

Naruto looked up. The dark circles under Sasuke's eyes had lessened, but he still looked tired. Naruto wondered if he looked just as tired, despite having slept for nearly 10 hrs. Sasuke had barely left that chair since they'd gotten home from the hospital three days ago. It was good to see him willing and able to move around, though he wondered if a walk might be over doing it.

"Study group will be here in an hour. I forgot we were studying all weekend. Sorry." He scratched the back of his head, absently. He really was distracted lately. Sasuke shrugged and held out his had for the full garbage bags that Naruto was holding. He hesitated before handing it over, and Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"I'm not that broken," he said irritably.

Naruto handed him the bag. "I know that!" He said defensively.

Sasuke didn't look at him. "You should shower before they get here. You've been wearing the same clothes for four days." Was all he said before walking out the door. Naruto sighed in exasperation at Sasuke's mood and went back to cleaning. Pausing to smell himself. Sasuke was right about the shower.

Naruto had cleaned up the garbage, taken the rest out, swept, mopped, showered, and was in the process of wiping down the dining table when there was a knock on the door. He chucked the washcloth he was using into the washer and went to the door. He paused before opening it, hand hovering over the door knob. Of all the times for this to be happening, this might be the worst. Everything was so uncertain...

The door bell brought him out of his thoughts. He could hear several voices on the other side. He took a deep breath and turned the handle. All four of his friends were standing on the other side, looking cold. Had the arrived together?

"Thought you'd never answer!" Said Sakura, she was shivering and pushed passed him to enter the apartment, rubbing her arms to warm herself. The rest followed suit. Gaara was especially bundled up against the cold. He had grown up in a desert and though he'd lived in Konoha for a number of years, he would never get used to the biting cold of real Winter. Even though It was nearing the end of when snow would fall he had been wearing heavy clothing since early fall. Gaara glanced at the living room as he came. "He's moved out of that chair?"

Naruto nodded. "He went for a walk, and even slept last night."

Gaara shrugged and moving into the kitchen and placed himself at the dining table, with his back to the window. Naruto followed and sat beside him. The other three took the seats opposite them.

"He'll be back soon." Naruto finished saying to Gaara.

Gaara frowned, "Goody," He said in the flattest tone he could muster.

Naruto looked at him with raised eyebrows. Gaara's and Sasuke's interactions seemed to very from week to week. Sometimes they were quite friendly with each other, and other times it seemed as though one desired nothing more than to rip the others throat out for no reason in particular. "What's with you? I thought you liked Sasuke. You even hang out with him."

"We tolerate each other. We only hang out when you're not around. You're the only friend either of us has, and the only thing we have in common." He leaned down and pulled his books from his bag. "But he's been almost intolerable this week."

Naruto sighed and looked at the other three, who were looking back at him waiting to be included in the conversation. As the sat around the dining table In the kitchen.

"Sasuke was in a car accident a little over a week ago. He's ok, but he's frustrated because he's injured and sore, which he won't take pain killers for cause he doesn't like how they make him feel, so he's not sleeping. The antibiotics he's on make him nauseous, so he's not eating... and yeah... he's a bit on the grouchy side this week."

"This week?" Said Gaara. Naruto ignored him. He glanced at the clock on the wall. It had been an hour and a half since Sasuke left. He should have been back by now. But as his anxious mind began to go over all the possible reason that could have delayed Sasuke, he heard the front door click open. Kiba, however, did not.

"He was always an asshole! I don't understand how you're still friends with him!"Sasuke was now standing behind them, but only Gaara and Naruto we're facing him.

Naruto put on his best imitation of Kiba, and raising his voice to a slightly higher pitch, said, "you hear that Sasuke, you're an asshole!" Sakura , Kiba, and Shikamaru whirled around to see the person Naruto was addressing. Sasuke leaning against the door frame to the kitchen, unfazed. An amused look in his eyes. Sakura blushed slightly. And Naruto didn't blame her.

He sometimes forgot how handsome Sasuke was and he seemed to have only gotten more so over the years. He was looking at Naruto however, a soft, smile tugged the corners of his mouth at the comment.

He leaned down and picked up a red backpack, that Naruto recognized as his own, and quickly realized that he was the only one at the table without books to actually study from. Sasuke nodded his head slightly to them all in greeting, which only Shikamaru returned, but Sasuke didn't appear to notice. He handed Naruto the backpack before heading to the fridge. His limp seemed worse, Naruto noted. he'd over done it. Naruto muttered and thanks before asking, "How was your walk?"

"Shut up, idiot," he answered softly. Grabbing a water out and closing the refrigerator door. Naruto grinned. To the others it may seem like an insult, but to Naruto it felt like a term of endearment. Sasuke left the kitchen as quickly and quietly as he'd entered.

There was a moment of silence before Sakura said, "So... how is it you two are living together, and no one knows about it, again?"

Naruto knew this question was coming and had dreaded attempting to answer it.

"To be fair," interjected Gaara, "I knew."


	2. Trauma Trauma Trauma

Trauma trauma trauma

Three years ago-

It was nearing the end of August. The drought that had parched Konoha all Summer was finally ending. The rain had been falling for three days now, and what had started as thirst quenching salvation, had now become a raging nightmare. Floods, sinkholes, and landslides plagued the city. The sun had set an hour ago and the rain still showed no signs of letting up anytime soon.

The abandoned parking lot Sasuke was standing in was retaining enough water to reach his calves. He had come to the unused library to be alone. This was always where he went to be alone when the emptiness of his house grew prominent for him to handle. He slumped down to his knees, no longer able to hold himself upright. He was soaked anyway, more water wouldn't hurt him. He looked down and his hands, the bruising was evident even in the dim light of a single distant street lamp, and knew the rest of him must look just as bad.

He hung his head in defeat. Rain dripped down his bruised cheeks but he knew that wasn't the only liquid wetting his face. Warm blood and tears mixed with the cold unrelenting force of nature sent to drown him in his pain and sorrow.

There was nothing left. His family, his future, his friends, his home, everything was gone. His parents had been killed... his brother charged with their murder.

With Itachi gone, his family's company had been handed over to his uncle who would take everything. Sasuke still couldn't wrap his head around it. He felt like he was wading through a foggy dream, a nightmare with no escape. He was lost and he was completely alone.

Foot steps approached him, though he barely heard them. Everything sounded so far away. His opponent had come to finish him off. Maybe if he was lucky the punch would knock him out and he would drown in this puddle. He already felt like he was drowning, it wouldn't take much.

"Are you done?" An irritated voice asked from somewhere above him. He didn't answer.

"Sasuke...?" Again he didn't answer. There was soft thud and a splash as Naruto got to his knees beside him. "Hey!" He shouted at Sasuke, reaching forward he grabbed the other boy by the shoulders and shook him roughly, "Snap out of it, Sasuke!"

Sasuke still didn't respond. He wished Naruto would just go away. Leave him to his fate. Yes, he was done. He had no energy left to fight. Nothing left to fight for, not even his own life. He wanted to die here, in this puddle, in the pouring rain, surrounded by darkness and cold. This was were he belonged.

Naruto had come to see him after hearing the news of his family. He knew he would find Sasuke here, he always did. Naruto had come here periodically throughout the past two years to try and convince Sasuke that they were still friends, and that he didn't need to push him out of his life. But Naruto was wrong. In order to become a prominent member of the Uchiha family and a successful business partners, he must let go of his weaknesses. Naruto was a weakness. Itachi had told him so. But Itachi was gone now. No. He, Sasuke, was the weakness. He was alone now and should be forgotten.

"Sasuke..." He was pulled to the side against Naruto's chest. Strong arms wrapped around him and pulled him closer. When had he started sobbing so hard? Why couldn't he stop? Turning his head to bury his face against Naruto's shoulder, he clung to the younger boy, and cried harder. Naruto said nothing. He just held him, running his fingers though Sasukes wet hair. His body seemed to block out the cold that reach beneath Sasukes skin to rob him of what little strength he had left.

He wasn't sure how long they sat there in cold water before he'd managed to stop crying. He felt empty now. Empty and pathetic. He didn't have a grip on anything, not his future, not his present, definitely not his emotions... anything except Naruto. He realized he was still clutching the boy and released him immediately, sitting up.

"Hn." Naruto responded. Sasuke couldn't feel his legs, and doubted Naruto could either, but the blond boy struggled to his own feet anyway, and then did something else that baffled Sasuke. He stepped over to Sasuke and, looking down at him, held out his hand. Why did he still care?

"Come on. Let's get going." His voice was soft and reassuring, to Sasuke's surprise. Not angry, not condescending. He wasn't making fun of Sasuke for his behavior, or for his emotions.

No, Naruto had never done anything of the sort. He'd only ever just been there for Sasuke, and no matter what he had done to him in return, Naruto was still there. Sasuke looked up at him.

He had called Naruto so many terrible things, had pushed him away, and punched him every time he'd come back... even tonight, punching the other boy had been Sasuke's first reaction when he'd shown up to offer comfort and friendship when Sasuke needed it most... and he was still here.

Naruto should hate him for everything he'd done... but he didn't. He just stood there staring at him with kindness in his eyes, hand outstretched, offering to pull him out of the cold and darkness. Sasuke reached up and took his hand.

—

—-

Present day

—

"Yes, you're a better friend than all of us!" Sakura snapped at Gaara. She was growing irritable with his smugness, and wondering if he and Sasuke really had more in common than he thought. The smirk vanished from Gaara's face and he glared at her, but kept his mouth closed.

Naruto looked around at their expectant faces. "There's not really much to tell..." at least there wasn't much he could tell with getting himself and Sasuke locked in prison, or possibly psychiatric hospital.

Not even Gaara knew the whole story. There were things that had happened between Naruto and Sasuke during their journey to become friends again, that Naruto preferred to keep between the two of them, though it wouldnt surprise him if Gaara had already guessed some of the things he had chosen to exclude.

That was what Naruto feared most of all. The more people that were close to them, the higher their chances of being discovered.

"He left, like he did. Superiority complex and all, and I gave him a few months and tracked him down. We fought for a little over year," he waved his hand absently, "and we became friends again the summer we turned 17. After graduating high school we were both looking for roommates." He shrugged as he finished his very abridged version of their story.

"Three years!?" Sakura's eyes were wide in astonishment, her mouth slightly open. "You've been friends with him for five years and never said anything?!"

"I'm sorry!" Naruto held his hands up in defense. "I... didn't realize that it had really been that long..." he put one hand down and moved the other to scratch the back of his head in nervousness. "Honestly, it never really came up." And it hadn't. Not in the beginning, anyway when their friendship had found new life... before everything else.

"No one else had gone after him, no one ever mentioned him. No one asked where I went, or who I hung out with when I wasn't around. I didn't think it mattered." This was a lie too. He knew it would have mattered to Sakura, that she had missed him, had wanted to see him for so long. It had been cruel of him to not tell her over the years. But he had his reasons, and one of them had been that it wasn't just his story to tell.

Sakura opened her mouth to argue again, anger and hurt in her eyes, but Shikamaru spoke for the first time since he had arrived, and silenced her. "As fascinating as Naruto's personal life is, that's not why we're here. We do have a test to study for."

They worked together cordially for the next half an hour, and by the time Sasuke had returned to the kitchen, hair still wet from the shower, the mood in the apartment had lightened somewhat.

He had changed into a black tank top and black shorts. His injuries where clearly visible now, having removed his bandages to bathe properly. Deep bloody scratches and cuts covered his left arm and leg, and now that his hair was pushed away from his face, the scrape to his forehead and bruising to his face were also visible.

The car that hit him had run a red light and t-boned Sasuke's car as he was going through an intersection, hitting just behind the drivers seat. Had it hit him a split second sooner, he might not have survived.

Sasuke was holding a box in his his hands that he handed to Naruto as he sank into the vacant seat to the blonds left. The blinds were open to his right and the sunlight poured in. He groaned and winced as he sat. His entire bod looked still and like it ached considerably more than yesterday. The walk, while probably refreshing, hadn't done his body any favors. He Rested his elbow on the table, but then thought better of it, not wanting to bloody up the clean surface.

Sasuke glanced around at Naruto's group. None of them had looked up when he'd entered this time. This behavior was strange to Naruto, and he eyed the dark haired boy warily. Sasuke hated other people and could easily wait until the study group was gone before asking Naruto to help him. What was this? Was it showing off? Was he being possessive? Was he watching Naruto to make sure he didn't slip up? But when Sasukes gaze turned back to him, it held none what Naruto has expected to find. In fact it was just... sad. Why did he look so damn sad all of a sudden. Naruto softened his own expression, but before he could react further, Kiba looked up from the flash cards he was so dutifully copying.

"Fuck! That looks brutal." Kiba stared at the wound on his arm. The cuts had been deep, requiring several stitches, and most of the sling not cut, was marred with abrasions and bruising from the air bag. He knew they would scar, but Sasuke hadn't been terribly concerned about it.

"It was nearly a lot worse." Said Naruto flatly.

Sasuke turned to look at him again, but Naruto busied himself with finding the correct bandages in the box sasuke Sasuke had brought into the kitchen. Looking at the injuries had brought to mind the horrifying phone call he'd gotten from from Itachi the night of the accident, and images of Sasuke laying in hospital bed covered in blood. They had fought shortly before Sasuke had left that night. A stupid fight that had occurred because they were both tired and frustrated. He couldn't stop thinking about his last words to his best friend being ones of anger that had driven him from their home. Yes, it was nearly much worse.

Having pulled out all the supplies he needed, Naruto held out his hand for Sasuke's injured one. He would be gentle, but it would still hurt, and Sasuke flinched slightly at the touch. Naruto took his hand gently and pulled it closer.

"You guys have a beautiful view of the city." Sakura said, looking out the window behind Sasuke.

"Hmmmm," Sasuke responded turning away from Naruto and following her gaze. "it's worth being on the top floor."

"After helping you move, I strongly disagree." Gaara replied.

Kiba laughed and Sasuke smiled, but it quickly disappeared as Naruto, who was ignoring them in concentration, placed the first gauze pad on the deepest of Sasukes wounds. He flinched again, but Naruto held his hand firmly.

"So how did you two become friends again," Sakura seemed to be both seizing the opportunity to get her questions answered as well as distracting Sasuke from from what Naruto was doing to him. Sasuke seemed to have noticed this as we'll be use he hesitated before acknowledging that he'd even heard her.

"We beat the shit out of each other as usual," he answered at last.

"Because that is perfectly normal." Kiba replied sarcastically.

"For is it was. "Naruto paused in placing the bandages making sure he hadn't missed anything, carefully turning sasuke's arm this way and that. He was still holding Sasuke's left hand in his own, while the right hand reached for the wrap he would use to hold the gauze in place. "I won, as usual." He smirked at Sasuke.

The slightest blush tinged Sasuke cheeks and in an attempt to save himself from embarrassment, shrugged as uncaringly as he could manage and turned to look out the window. He really was acting strangely tonight.

Naruto wrapped his arm fairly quickly and set it down on the table, finally releasing his hand. The absence of his warm touch was felt by Sasuke, blushed again.

Naruto moved his chair back and looked at Sasuke questioningly, "Leg?" He asked. Sasuke nodded and thanked him. With great effort, he lifted his left leg and placed it across Naruto's lap, ankle resting on Naruto's right thigh. And Naruto began the same ministrations he'd done to his arm. As Naruto started at his ankle he continued to stare pointedly out the window until Naruto reached his thigh. At that point it became to much, and he turned back to Sakura for distraction.

"How have you been?" He asked awkwardly. Naruto's left hand pressed against his inner thigh, while his right worked on the outer, and then it hit him why Sasuke was reacting so oddly. He let his fingers lightly brush the soft milky skin of Sasukes inner thigh and the other boy tried to shift away from him.

Naruto chuckled and earned himself a kick from Sasukes other leg under the table. No one else had noticed and It was taking all his will power to keep that from happening. Perhaps he should have waited until Naruto's friends had left before asking him for help, but Naruto doubted they'd notice. To anyone else, except maybe Gaara if he cared enough to watch, it would look like Sasukes movements were out of pain. That certainly seemed to be Sakura theory as she did her best to comfort Sasuke.

Polite conversation continued as Naruto finished tending to Sasuke. When the task was complete, he set Sasuke's foot softly on the ground, and informed him that it would be best to ice his knee and put his foot as the knee appeared swollen to him. Being dismissed, Sasuke stood quietly and left, grabbing and ice pack from the freezer on the way out. From where he was sitting, he could see Sasuke situate himself in front of the TV in the living room.

Naruto pulled his phone out of his bag and and brought up Sakura's message thread.

"I promise, once this stupid test is over with, I will give you a proper explanation. Sasuke will too." Send. It was a moment before she looked at her phone. And when their eyes met again, she gave him a nod of agreement and understanding.

The rest of session went uneventfully. Naruto was beginning to feel like he might actually pass this test. They continued until afternoon when Kiba cried out that he was mentally spent and required food and a nap, and then dissolved for the day, agreeing to meet at Naruto's again the next morning. He walked his friends to the door, hugging Sakura goodbye.

Sasuke also limped over to bid them a courteous farewell, standing beside Naruto. Gaara ignored him. Naruto watched them move towards the elevator for a moment before closing the door. He had only stepped a few paces back into the apartment, stretching his arms over his head to release his sore muscles, before Sasuke grabbed him from behind. Arms wrapped tightly around his torso, startling him to exclamation. "Ahh! What are you doing!" But it was a moment before Sasuke answered.

His face was buried in the back of his right shoulder, and when spoke, his voice was muffled with cloth and tears, "I'm sorry." He said in a soft voice that spoke of tears, as he pulled Naruto closer.

Naruto sighed and reached his hand back to thread his fingers into raven locks, leaning his head back to rest against his lover's. "Heh, what are you sorry for." Naruto was still genuinely confused at Sasuke's current behavior.

"What said... before the accident. I'm sorry. I was angry, I didn't mean it."

Oh... thought Naruto. A weight now settled in his chest. He straightened up and pulled Sasukes arms from around his waist. Sasuke gasped in pain and Naruto released his left arm, turning to face him. Sasuke stood only an inch or so shorter than himself, and was of a slightly lighter build, like a runner, where Naruto had thicker muscle from days spent at the apartment complexes gym.

Sasuke's tear streaked face stared back at him, guilty and fearful. "Don't," Naruto told him softly, lifting his hands to brush away tears. "don't worry about that right now. We can talk about it later, ok?" His hands moved to Sasuke's waist, and pulled him close again, crushing his own lips against his lover's in a heated kiss. Sasuke returned it eagerly.


	3. Sleepless Nights

One year ago-

Sirens broke the still of the night as red and blue lights took turns bathing them in vivid flashes of color. To Sasuke, everything seemed way too quiet, but was still somehow echoing in his head. His heart pounded in his ears, his breath coming in sharp gasps. His vision swam as he looked down at his own bloody hands, before turning to face Naruto.

His friends face was splattered with blood and he too appeared to be in the some state of shock. When he met Sasuke's panicked stare, the brightness had left his eyes, the crystal blue pools that had always held reassurance and comfort for Sasuke now stared back as empty hollow shells. That scared Sasuke more than anything they had done that night.

"I think they're across the street," the blond boy told him, his voice as empty as his eyes, "but we need to hurry and get this cleaned up." He grabbed Sasukes hand and darkness engulfed them both.

—-

Present day

—-

Naruto awoke with a start. He could feel Sasuke beside him, panting and sweating, as he was staring up at the dark ceiling of their bedroom. Naruto's own heart was racing as he reached out to his lover. It had been some time since this had happened, but should've know better than to try and touch him. The moment Naruto's fingertips brushed his arm, the boy bolted out of the bed and ran for the bathroom.

Sitting up as the door clicked shut, he swung his legs out of bed and sat naked on the edge with his head in his hands. Sasuke's nightmares rarely woke him anymore, and he had hope that it was because they were indeed becoming less and less frequent, but he was also aware that Sasuke would never be completely honest about it, not even to him.

He looked up at the closed bathroom door. Dull yellow light leaked through the crack at the bottom, but no sound came through the door. This was the hardest part of being with Sasuke. There was nothing he could do at the moment but wait patiently for the door to open again. He'd tried in the past to help Sasuke through his panic attacks, but had only made it worse. He couldn't burst through the door and rip the demons out of Sasuke's head like he desperately wanted to. Like had been able take them out of his life. It was something that tore him apart inside as much as their past tore up Sasukes mind.

A cool breeze reminded him of the open window, and he rose slowly to go close it part way. It had started to rain again. The water's melodic metronome of drip drip drip against the windowsill like the soft ticking of a clock, making each second of time that much more prominent as he waited. His big toe brushed cool fabric on the floor and he stopped in the darkness to retrieve the boxers he'd throw off earlier. They had been in bed together since yesterday afternoon, and the muscles in his shoulders and back were notably stiff.

Closing the window enough to keep the rain from coming in, he leaned against the wooden frame, letting the cool damp air refresh his mind. If often bothered him that he wasn't as bothered by what they'd done as Sasuke was. His best friend's reactions, nightmares and panic attacks, were perfectly normal, all things considering. But the blood on their hands hadn't bothered him at all after the first few weeks.

He crossed the room quietly to the bathroom door. Glancing at the clock, Sasuske had been in there about fifteen minutes, which was about average for an episode like this. Gently leaning his head against the door, he could hear the faint sound of the sink running on the other side, and he leaned his side against the frame to wait. Just as he'd excepted, the door opened moments later. Naruto squinted and grimaced against the light in the bathroom until his eyes adjusted. Sasuke stood in the doorway looking up at him with the smallest trace of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Seeing him now tugged at Naruto's heart even more than usual. He'd pulled on clothes he'd found in the bathroom and seemed clean enough, but they were naruto's sweat pants and t-shirt, so the hung loosely on his smaller frame. The injuries from his accident stood out even more, mixed with the added bruises along his neck that Naruto has given earlier that evening, and the dark circles and unkempt Hair he sported, Sasuke looked nothing like his usual self.

Naruto reached up to gently brush the midnight bangs back from his eyes before placing his hand on the back Sasukes neck and pulling him into a one armed hug. Sasuke went without resistance, wrapping his good arm around Naruto torso and burying his face in his lovers shoulder.

"You're cute." Naruto told him with a soft laugh.

"I look pathetic." Came the muffled reply.

Well," Naruto bit playfully at his ear, "I already proved your cuteness to you several times today, but I can do it again if you want."

Sasuke groaned, not moving his head so that his next words were equally muffled, "I want to, really I do," He tightened his grip around Naruto's waist, "but I'm so fucking exhausted. Besides, it's after three in the morning, you need to sleep."

"That's a shame, because I'm wide awake." He pulled back to smile at Sasuke, who really did look as tired as he'd said, and kissed him gently, feeling the raven haired boy melt into his embrace. Breaking kiss he pressed the foreheads together and asked, "Cuddle and watch tv til we're both asleep?"

Sasuke nodded and Naruto led him back to bed. Propping some of the pillows up behind him, the blond boy lay on his back turning on the television that was mounted on the wall across from their bed. Sasuke climbed in after him, resting his forehead against Naruto's chest and draping his injured arm and leg across boys body. Naruto used his foot to kick the blankets from the bottom of the bed up to his hand and spews them back out to cover them both. He ran his fingers gently through Sasuke's soft, dark hair as his friend quickly fell asleep.

Sasuke was normally awake for hours after a panic attack. Anxiety and adrenaline kept him pacing around the house or sent him out for a run. His behavior was starting to worry Naruto. He looked down at the sleeping boy and carefully pulled him closer. There was nothing he feared more in the world than losing Sasuke.

—-

In the pale light of morning sun, Naruto stirred. Something had roused him, but he couldn't figure out what. Blinking open his eyes, the back of Sasuke's head came into focus. He was still asleep, so that couldn't have been what had awoken him. He leaned down and kissed him on the shoulder. Why did Sasuke have clothes again? He was fairly certain he had ravaged that body for the greater part of the previous afternoon and well into the evening. Hmmm... well whatever it was that had interrupted such an agreeable sleep couldn't have been important if it was no longer present. He pulled the raven haired man closer and closed his eyes, willing himself back to sleep.

 _Ding dong!_

Shit! That's what it was. His sleeping brain had been unable to properly process the sound the first time. Carefully pulling his arm out from under Sasuke, Naruto flung himself out of bed, hurriedly put on the nearest pair of sweatpants, and sprinted to the front door. Reaching it, he scrambled with the locks and flung the door wide. The icy Spring air rushed through the opening and slammed into his bare chest.

"Gah!" He shouted in surprise, startling his would be guests, and stepped back out of the winds path, allowing his friends room to do them same. "How long have you been here?" He asked, feeling guilty about is forgetfulness.

"Fifteen fucking minutes!" Kiba hissed, stepping inside.

"I'm sorry! I didn't set an alarm." He turned to close the door and then to the red head he added, "Gaara, you have a key, why didn't you use it?" But turning his back had shown them all the forgotten deep red, bloody scratches that Sasuke had left running the length of his back.

Gaara smirked at him in a way that made Naruto nervous, "I didn't think it wise to barge in. Also, you should probably find a shirt."

Not catching his meaning, Naruto looked down at his bare muscular chest. "And deny you the chance for a view like this?" Both Gaara and Sakura blushed and looked away.

"The one of your back isn't quite as nice," Shikamaru slapped him lightly on the back. The sting of the slap against his raked flesh brought the presence of the wounds back to Naruto's awareness and he grimaced. He was now fairly certain that everyone in the room, apart form Kiba, knew where they had come from. So much for that secret. Though he knew it would come out eventually once they knew he and Sasuke were living together, he hadn't expected it to come out this quickly, or this easily. None of them had reacted out of disgust, which was a relief, it was more like awkwardness. Which was understandable given the circumstances.

Sakura smiled and cleared her throat, "we should get started," she stated, indicating the kitchen where the had studied the previous morning.

Her reaction confused Naruto the most. Not only had he reunited with the ex-boyfriend she had mourned for years, he'd stolen him. He'd made Sasuke his and had kept it from her all this time. She should be furious, but she wasn't, and for some reason, it made him nervous.

Naruto nodded, running a hand through his messy blond hair. "I'll be there in a minute," and as they entered the kitchen and took their places around the table, he walked back to the bedroom to find a shirt.

Sasuke was still sound asleep where Naruto had left him. He didn't appear to have moved at all. Naruto longed to crawl back in next to him, to hold him, to lay in the warm bed with him for the day and do nothing at all. He could think of nothing more blissful. Sighing, he walked to the closet and found a single clean T-shirt hanging there and pulled it on. Turning to leave the room, he paused. He should grab his phone from the charger. If it rang, it would wake Sasuke, and he still needed to sleep. He had deprived Sasuke of that luxury yesterday and would make it up to him today. Their late night Had meant neither of the had slept as well as they should have.

He closed the door softly, and started walking towards the kitchen. Passing through the living room, He spied Sasuke's dead phone on the arm of the couch and picked it up as well. He would put it on one of the kitchen chargers.

The other man had a tendency to let his phone die and leave it random places around the house. It was a point of contention between them. Naruto constantly had his phone in his hand, which annoyed Sasuke, and Sasuke never had his phone, which annoyed Naruto... and anyone else trying to reach him. Though most people who ever tried to reach Sasuke also had Naruto's number and knew that it's was smarter to justjust call him, adding to Naruto's irritation. It made him feel like Sasuke's mother that his friends had to talk to in order to see if Sasuke could come out to play.

He took his place beside Gaara at the table. They had studied for only about half an hour before Naruto's phone indeed rang with someone trying to reach Sasuke. It was Jugo, Sasuke's boss at the pet store where he worked. Naruto apologized to his guests before answering, "Hello?"

"Hey, I haven't heard from Sasuke, how is he doing." Jugo's voice inquired. His voice seemed to echo oddly on the other end and Naruto knew he must be on speaker phone.

"Better, for the most part. He's still asleep at the moment, can I take a message for him?" He could here Karin and Suigetsu arguing in the background.

"Ah, I see. He had said he was planning on returning to work tomorrow, and I just wanted to make sure he was still up for it. He is welcome to take more time if he needs." Hugo's tone didn't match his words, and Naruto knew that Sasuke's return would give Jugo a much needed break from his other two employees and their constant bickering.

"As far as I know, he is, but I'll have him call you once he's up."

Jugo thanked him and they both hung up.

About an hour later his phone rang again. Naruto was certain that more people called his phone looking for Sasuke than they did looking for him. This time it was Itachi.

"His Phone is dead again." Itachi started before Naruto could even greet him properly. "Wake him and tell him I'll be there in thirty minutes." And the call was ended. Naruto stared at his phone. Sometimes he wondered whether or not Itachi actually approved of him being in Sasuke's life, or if he simply wished an ill fated demise upon him.

"I'll be right back," he informed the table as he rose to go do as Sasuke's older brother had bid.

Sasuke was already awake, he was searching the piles of clothing on the floor when Naruto entered. "You're up."

"Duh." He said rolling his eyes. "We really need to clean today. Are they gone?"

"No. Itachi called. He's on his way." Then, watching Sasuke grow increasingly frustrated in his search he leaned against the door frame, crossed his arms and added, "what are you looking for?"

"This!" He said in exasperation, and yanked a hooded sweatshirt out of the pile. Pulling it over his head he walked over to the mirror on the closet door, tugging at the hood to make sure it covered the dark hickey on his throat. It did enough that it seemed to satisfy him and he returned to where Naruto stood. Standing slightly on his toes he threaded his fingers into golden strands of hair and kissed him deeply.

"He's taking me to pick up a rental while insurance decides what to do about getting me a new car." He ran the thumb of his uninjured hand across the scars on Naruto's face, a slight frown crossing his own. Naruto's gaze fell on his own mark on Sasuke's neck. "You should probably stay out of the kitchen. That hoodie doesn't hide much and they've seen the scratches you left on my back."

The frown on his lovers face deepened to reflect his irritation, "who cares if they know? I don't." And with that simple statement he turned to leave, but Naruto grabbed him by the wrist.

"You used to care. You used to care a lot." He pointed out, confused.

Sasuke's eyes widened in concern and his lips parted as he looked back at Naruto. Then he shook his head with a sad smile and said, "There are more important things." His hand slipped from Narutos loose grasp and he limped from the room, leaving the blonde boy to ponder his words.

—

The morning had felt oddly tense to Sakura. Some how the tension she felt seemed to be emanating from none other than Gaara, who was sitting directly across from her. His answers to questions and interaction during the groups discussions, were short and to the point. He had no snide comments to add today, and when he smiled, it didn't reach his eyes. He was also avoiding looking in Naruto's direction, but when Naruto excused himself, his gaze continuously flickered from the time on the home screen of his phone to the empty seat beside him.

It was Sasuke who entered the kitchen first. He greeted them with a nod and headed straight for the fridge. Naruto entered second and returned to the seat beside Gaara who shifted uncomfortably. His limp wasn't as pronounced as the day before, she noted as she watched Sasuke spend a few moments browsing the cupboards before sighing, and settling for a bowl of cereal, that he took with him into the living room along with the phone Naruto had plugged in earlier. That hoodie did a terrible job hiding the fresh bruise darkening on his neck. It did however solidify her suspicions of the nature of his and Naruto's living arrangements. It seemed unlikely to her that both of them would have had the time to seek pleasurable company the previous day, and more likely that they found that company in each other.

She had been angry when Naruto had first informed them of the situation at the library. That anger had ebbed when she'd watched the two of them interact the previous evening and she began to suspect the reason Naruto had kept such a secret. The knowledge of their courtship didn't bother her in the slightest, but that Naruto has thought it would, did bother her. Did he think Sakura would judge him for it? Did he think so little of her?

Clearly Gaara had known, hadn't he? Judging from their conversations, he certainly spent a lot of time in this house, surely he would have noticed. Which brought another question to her mind. If Gaara had known, why was he so bothered by that knowledge today? Perhaps he hadn't known the full extent of their relationship. Or perhaps he had, but seeing it shoved in his face was just too much for him. She regarded him for a moment. He was staring at his books, but his eyes weren't moving along the page. She had know for awhile that Gaara had feelings for Naruto. It was clear to her in the way he looked at the boy. Naruto, of course, had no idea. Oblivious, idiot.

She had considered pointing it out to him in the past, thinking they might do well as couple. They were both very attractive, had similar interests and hobbies, and both appeared to spend a lot of time alone. Now that she knew Naruto did not in fact spend his time away from classes alone, she was glad she hadn't mentioned it.

The door bell rang, bringing Sakura back from her thoughts. Naruto didn't move, but she heard Sasuke get up and open the door. It closed a moment later and Sasuke did not return.

They studied together for another hour before mutually agreeing that their brains were too full to take in anything else, and a day of rest before the actual test would be beneficial to them all. They wished Naruto farewell and walked in silence to the stairs. Reaching the bottom they bid each other farewell also and separated. After only a few steps, Sakura stopped. A plan had begun in her mind during the time Sasuke had entered the kitchen and had finally finished forming, but she would have to act now, or risk losing her opportunity.

"Gaara! Hold up a minute!"

—

A/N: just a PSA to remember that everyone deals with trauma, anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues differently, so please treat everyone with kindness and take the time to try and understand where your friends and loved ones are coming from. Also if you are struggling please reach out to someone. There are people who love you and want to help you, though they may not always understand how. It's not easy to see things through someone else's eyes, so be kind always. Talk to your friends and loved ones, reach out, support and do your best to understand. Take care of each other, and take care of yourself.


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